I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
