i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think my fart just growled at me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
