Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
