Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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