Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
