Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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