david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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