I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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