your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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