If i come over, it means nothing
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
