Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
