I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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