mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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