ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it's like heaven, but drunker
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
