I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
