i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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