who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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