my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
