Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How external is "for external use only"?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
