Your tits are I can't wait for
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
