I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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