We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
