Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
