DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm at about main and main street
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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