You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
