Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
