70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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