Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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