True but thats because hes a fetus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
