where am i from again
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no you cant smoke seaweed
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
