it hurts more in the daytime
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
