As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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