just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
