So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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