Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
