You're completely useless in the revolution.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
