I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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