the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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