this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
