apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
