I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
