I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
