your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
