I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
