Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
