Barsexuality is the new black.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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