I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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