found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
