Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
