like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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