Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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